Sky Gray

Filed Under (Writing) by Grace Einkauf on 08-03-2010

This is a short story I wrote based on the much-told, rather overdone story of St. George and the Dragon. I changed the guy’s name, though. ;-) I apologize for not having this properly formatted- Wordpress refuses to budge in their preferences.

Sky Gray
By Grace Einkauf
November 2009- February 2010

Most children are curious. I was no exception. I rolled in the grass and looked up, laughing, to ask my father why it grew so fast. I wrinkled my nose at caterpillars and demanded to know why it was so hard to tell one end from another. I sighed up at the sky, and eagerly asked why it was gray. Yes, gray. Because, you see, although I was much like other children, in some ways I was very different. One difference was that I happened to be born a princess. And another was that as long as I can remember, I had lived under a thick gray sky. It hadn’t always been gray, though. My father the king told me glorious tales of valor and travels and merrymaking under a blue sky. A sky that always let the sun’s gleaming smile through, before gray clouds came and blotted it out. A sky that didn’t crouch as a roof over our dreams, but which offered a whole other world to peer into. He remembered the sky when it was blue, and he loved the memory so well that when I was born, he named me Azure. I was his blue sky. And he was mine; we were almost constantly together, especially since my mother died. I would lay out my dusty books on a little table in the throne room and study as he handled matters of state. When we could steal away from our work, we’d delight ourselves with the garden, and the horses, and just be content and alive together. As I grew older, he explained to me all the things I wished to know. I learned why those clouds were settled so thick above our kingdom, for he told me the frightening truth of the menace that hung over us. Long ago a dragon had torn apart this land, and set up his reign of smoke in the mountains. And he was still there, though unseen. The gray clouds that continued rolling over the peaks were all the assurance we needed to see that his reign was still uncontested. But we also knew that it wouldn’t last forever. Father had always told me that someday the sky would be blue again. I didn’t know what blue sky really was… even my imaginative head couldn’t conjure it up behind closed eyelids. But I knew that I wanted that blue sky more than anything else in the world.

I remember when the dragon brought renewed terror to our hearts, after so many years. I was tending the horses in the royal stable, though all the court thought it was ludicrous for a blooming princess to shut herself up like a common milkmaid. They didn’t realize that it was because of the exercise I received from substantial work that I was blooming at all. But this day it was dreadfully damp and foggy, and I shivered. Looking up from inspecting the feed bins, I saw a few of the most sprightly chargers suddenly begin pawing the floor and prancing with anxiety. My efforts to calm them were in vain, and I knitted my brows, unable to fathom this sudden confusion. That’s when I heard the whoosh of his wings, like a growling waterfall. He must have brought an ill wind from the mountains with him, because none of our friendly whimsical breezes ever sounded so foreboding. Afraid to discover the truth, I squinted through a knothole as the alarm bells began to toll furiously. I couldn’t see past the buildings, but I saw people running, and- oh, no!- I saw my father with his guards, marching towards the entrance to the city. They were going to parley with the dragon. I longed to run after them and throw myself into Father’s arms, pleading him not to endanger himself so rashly. But I knew it would be in vain; for he was always the bravest of men, ready to take any pain on himself if it would buy safety and comfort for his realm. But how cruel it would be if I should never see him again, and never be able to say goodbye! I sank down onto the dank sawdust floor and cried silently, the cold tears numbing my face, afraid of losing all I had ever held dear. I heard distant rumbles which I think were the tones of the dragon’s malicious voice, and then, after a while, silence. I think returning to the castle was the bravest thing I’ve ever done. I knew I might be confronted with news of Father’s death, or climb the highest turret to gaze down on endless ravished countryside. But I condemned the tears to flee, and left the stable with as steady a step as I could muster. It wasn’t very steady. The street was empty- everyone had retreated to safety inside. Even the castle was empty, except for a few guards. They told me not to worry, that the king would return soon. I wished so much to believe them! Alone, I dragged myself up to my chambers to wait… and pray.

I know I must have fallen asleep, because I was jarred back to reality by a hand on my shoulder. Jerking my head around, I beheld the face of my father, never so dear to me as at that moment. I buried myself in his arms, exulting inside. When I looked up at his face again, ready to hear the entirety of that morbid interview, I suddenly noticed the tears on his face.
“What is it?” I asked, anxiety throwing my voice up a tone. His forehead smoothed and he breathed deep, but then it contracted again. All the same, his voice was strong and clear when he cleared his throat and answered,
“The dragon has agreed to relinquish his power over us, to leave here forever, if-“ He stopped, and I broke in quietly,
“If what?” He didn’t want to answer. I could see the pain in his heart reflected in his eyes. “What is so terrible, Father?” I didn’t think anything could be so bad, but I had never dealt with dragons. Father, I could tell, had agonized over his dealings with this one. He raised his head at last, and spoke in a toneless, controlled voice that I had never heard from him before.
“The dragon will leave this kingdom forever if he may have one thing.”
“What?” I was desperate to know.
“If he may have… you, Azure.”
Me? My head swirled in confusion and disbelief. Thoughts congealed and were swept away like leaves in a restless current. I thought about the most unrelated things… the caterpillars I had hated and loved at the same time… the warm nights when I had played for Father on the harp… pruning the roses in the castle gardens…. And all the while, I asked myself- why? Why did the dragon want me? Why I must be wrenched away from everything I’d ever known in order to save the kingdom? The noise in my mind gradually settled down, though my heart continued to throb, and I asked my father,
“When?” His eyes kindled with tears.
“Tomorrow.”
He held me close and we cried together. He assured me that he would never let me go, he would never let us be separated. But both of us knew that unless I yielded to the dragon’s wishes, the entire kingdom would be destroyed. And instead of being separated in life, we would die together, along with every innocent man, woman, and child who trusted my father to do what was best for them.

With my head on Father’s shoulder, I contemplated our fate. But we weren’t alone for long. A guard tapped on the door and asked for the king. I tried to summon all my scattered nerves while Father moved to open the door. I averted my tear-stained face, but something prompted me to glance up, and then my puzzled gaze was held transfixed. The guard was not alone. There was a man with him, mud-splattered and weary, with hair pressed completely out of shape by his helm. I must confess that my first thought when he was conducted into the throne room was selfish- here was a young warrior from far away who might have contested with dragons before. Could he save me, a frightened little princess caught in the burning clutches of my dream? Could he save our kingdom? But one look at his tired eyes and his rain-rusted armor, and I knew in my heart that this weak lad could never deliver us from such a foe. In my Father’s vacant eyes, I realized he knew it too. I had not been listening to their exchange, and was startled when the knight raised his voice in passionate resolve.
“I will fight this dragon,” he cried. His voice vaulted above the smoke-tarnished columns. “It does not matter if I live or die in the attempt. Though I hope, for your sakes, I will be victorious.” He stood tall, not taller than Father, but his chin was tilted to the invisible stars, and his crumpled and sweaty hair was flung back, so that he looked stronger and bolder than any trained warrior in our kingdom. All the same, Father was speechless at such rash words, and I could scarcely believe what I heard.
“Why?” I heard myself crying out loud. “Why, when we’ve never seen you before in our lives, will you risk all for us?” He was silent. I wondered if he even knew the answer. But when he replied, it was with clarity and resolve.
“Because I serve a king who wishes to eliminate all evil in this world, and fill it with brilliance. He sent me here in your time of crisis, to lend my aid. Lady, if I can bring the blue sky back to your country, I will.” His eyes didn’t look tired anymore- they shone steadily in the light of flickering lanterns. And for the first time since my world had come crashing down around me, I felt hope.

I trembled beside Father’s throne as he blessed the brave young warrior. Vacantly, I contemplated my restlessly twining fingers and suddenly realized that I was no longer concerned only for my safety and my father’s, but I prayed earnestly for the life of this rash man who was determined to rendezvous with death, for our sakes. He still looked sadly bedraggled, but I wasn’t to be misled again. One glance at his eyes revealed the same strength of character he had displayed the previous night. I read fear in them as well, and loss…. But amber courage glowed brightest, and all the anxieties were pushed aside. I looked at my father and was not surprised to find the same glow in his eyes. At last, he rose with all the grandeur befitting a king and approached the young champion, who knelt before him. And then my father banished his stiff, kingly manner with a pained sigh, and bent to embrace our resolute defender. I tried to squint back the tears, but somehow they slipped down my cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the hoary branch of a shivering apple tree tracing designs on the frosty windowpane, and I thought of russet apples regaling the trees in autumn and how they are plucked from the branch at their prime. “Please don’t let it be so with him,” I asked in my heart’s softest whisper. “Let him be victorious.” Father stood again. I saw his hand shake as he slowly pulled his sword from its scabbard. His voice quavered slightly when he spoke.

“Knighthood is bestowed in my kingdom when one has done something unusually worthy of renown.” He drew himself up taller, and his voice resounded with renewed vigor. “Never have I given this honor to a man before it has been physically earned. This will be the first time. You have shown us selfless courage and valor in your resolution to risk your life for ours, though we have so little claim on your life and don’t even know your name. Whatever may be the outcome, you have our eternal gratitude and regard, shown by this small token of knighthood.” Father pressed the shimmering flat of his sword down on the shoulders of the kneeling man, with more gracious pride than I had ever seen him bestow. I drew near to his side softly and leaned my tear-stained cheek into his broad shoulder. When the young knight looked up, his amber eyes shone with shimmering courage… and a hint of tears.
“I will do my best to deserve…” emotion broke off his speech. Kindness sometimes has more power than fear, I realized. Here was a man who laughed in the face of death… and he was trying to stem the tears that welled because of my father’s small kindness. My own tears threatened to return. He began again, haltingly, “I- will do my best,” he asserted once more. Then he smiled. His smile was a sunset… “And my name is Erik.” And without another word, but with a look that told novels, he turned and strode out of the hall to do battle with the dragon no man had ever dared to face. And part of both of us, my father and me, went with him.

Why did we have so many flights of stairs in the castle? My heart pounded as I climbed and climbed and climbed…. I was torn between wanting to watch, wanting to witness the awful fight, and the fear in the pit of my stomach that told me to turn back, lest I witness the death of all our wavering hopes. The destruction of blue sky forever. But with one last wilted breath, I reached the top of the highest turret, and beheld a carpet of smoke all around the city. It hung like ancient dust in a basement, settled deep, only the topmost layer being wafted by the breeze. I don’t know what I had expected to see… flashes of fire, at least. It occurred to me that I’d never actually seen our enemy the dragon. But I was sure to see him, or was he an it? soon. It stabbed into my heart on the wings of dreadful reality that our hero must have been vanquished with nary a fight. The steps were sprinkled with my last tears as I hung my head and my hopes and plodded back down the eternal staircase.
Father was as nervous as I was, waiting in that silent castle for some sort of sign from the outside. The afternoon passed, and the night, and still there was no swoop of black wings or the rumor of fire in the city. But no exhausted knight appeared dragging the dragon’s head behind him. When I crawled into my bed after sitting up for so long, I wondered if I’d awaken only to die.

I realized I was awake when I heard a bird trilling its little heart out. I turned my foggy head to look for the source, and I saw a little house wren perched on my windowsill. I hadn’t heard birds sing since…. Suddenly I remembered. Since the dragon came, the birds had been silent. My chest was filled with fear at the thought of the dragon, and hopeless hope at the rapturous song of the bird. I forced my unwilling legs to carry me over to the window, and I forced my eyes to look. My legs gave way. All of me simply drooped and I sat down hard on the window seat, as if I’d just received a hard kick from an exceptionally lively foal in the stable. But my eyes were livid, transfixed, gazing. When I could finally breathe, my breaths came in gasps and I found myself crying, raining tears on the windowsill, and my dress that I hadn’t bothered to change last night, and my quivering hands. It was blue. The sky! It was blue like the eyes of a little child, like the breast of an exotic bird. A basin of indigo paint had found its way into the clouds, and it had flooded the entire expanse, cascaded and blended. It was tangible music. It was perfect. Each of my tears lingering on the windowsill reflected blue glory. The sky was blue. I heard a step behind me, and I turned and flung myself into my father’s arms. I felt his heart leap and soar with mine. At last I found my voice, and I think there were blue tinges in it when I danced back to the window and said,
“Sky-blue is my favorite color.”

Love or Beauty?

Filed Under (Reflections, Writing) by Grace Einkauf on 04-03-2010

[[cross-posted from Facebook, written as the answering article to a very long and awesome comment discussion]]

Early last November found me in Corpus Christi, Texas, participating in a communications conference. I treasure that experience as one of the most wonderful weeks of my life, because as well as having an utterly amazing time with everyone, I was exposed to truths which have cemented themselves permanently in my heart, further directing my mindset towards missions, genuine leadership, and ultimately towards Christ. I remember one particular class I attended where the students were told to write on a piece of paper two values- two admirable things to pursue. I, being a rather abstract person, chose ‘altruism’ (brotherly love) and ‘beauty’. After we had chosen our two values, they told us to underline one. So… I underlined beauty. And then our two teachers excitedly informed us that we were each going to write down all the reasons we could come up with for why the underlined value was greater than the other. I raised my eyebrows, blinked, and thought myself in a quandary. I mean, what reasons could you come up with for why beauty was better than brotherly love? But I got to thinking. And those thoughts that began to stir within me in November have remained to the present moment. Which is why I bring you the question, ‘which is more fundamental- love or beauty?’ I will be endeavoring to answer this question for all of us in these next few paragraphs.

If the answer to the question seems obvious to you on the surface, let me lead you into the depths of the problem. I’m sure it seems clear that love should be valued above beauty. But is it possible that, before we can have love, we must have beauty? Can you ever bestow love without recognizing beauty in the loved thing or person? I’m not talking about physical beauty here, but overall wholesomeness and worth. Without seeing this deep beauty manifested in something (or someone), can you love it? Of course we are commanded to love our enemies and rejoice through suffering. But when we do these things, is it because we realize that there is some inherent beauty in a person or situation, even if we don’t see it? This is the question that I’ve pondered in length.

First of all, I should define love and beauty to prevent any confusion. I will be speaking of love not only in the context of human relationships, but also as affection, admiration, or appreciation for an object or circumstance. Beauty I define as ‘the quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses’. And now, on to the issue at hand….

Since this is a question that faces mankind, and not God, I’ll not be looking at God’s point of view immediately. For flawed humans, which is more fundamental? Does beauty determine love in our case? I believe, for most people, it does. We are born with human sight, and look for beauty at the surface. Only God is capable of seeing beyond the obvious. When a man loves something, it’s because he sees something lovable, something beautiful in the loved object. No normal person is going to go out and love a dirt road, a paper clip, or another person, without first seeing value or worth in it. The apparent value and worth is relative, depending on the person. I’m completely capable of loving dirt roads for their simplicity and overall dirt-ness, and paper clips for their perfectly practical (yet unlikely) swirl. But Hitler loved destroying all other ethnic groups in favor of the Arian race. He saw value and worth in his stance. Throughout the entire human population, there is not one who is capable, in and of himself, of loving something that does not appear favorable to him. So, to much of mankind, beauty is the supreme value. In order for something to be lovable in the eye of the beholder, it must be beautiful in the eye of the beholder. But notice I said that this is the case for much of mankind.

Because you see, as Christians, we don’t love in and of ourselves. We love because of God’s perfect love channeled through us. Romans 5:5 says, “…and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” For God and His followers who he enlightens, love is the more fundamental, because as the Scriptures state, God is love. Love is more than an emotion- it can be bestowed, received, accepted, withheld…. it’s more than something like ‘happiness’, which is a mere emotion and can’t be given away. Love is something infinitely precious- we really have no idea how it works, and yet it rules the world. God is love. God is not beauty, though He is beautiful, and no beauty can exist apart from Him. (In actuality, nothing can exist apart from Him.) Beauty is an attribute, but love is something much more. The fact is, however, that love is not something humans are fully capable of. Thus, without God, WE can only love when we find something apparently lovable. There are plenty of lovable things to be found, since everything God created holds some inherent beauty- otherwise He wouldn’t have created it and said that it was good. We were made in His image, and we have retained that image. Of course we understand that Adam’s fall corrupted that beauty forever, but by God’s grace, it is still there. Nothing WE’VE done has sustained it; it was bestowed once and for all at the beginning of the world. So we still have no reason to boast. Why does God love us? I cannot answer that question. No one can. It’s true that we still retain His image, but God is perfect and we most certainly are not. Why would He love something so flawed? And yet He DID love us enough to send Christ as our bridge to Him, that in Christ our sins might be washed away. God doesn’t value beauty above love. It’s His love that enables beauty to exist. Somehow His love reaches us in our stiffened, black souls, and makes us beautiful. He takes from us all of our sin, and gives us in return a softened heart- capable of loving. We don’t love because of beauty. We love because He first loved us.

So for Christians, love has become the fundamental value! And when God commands us to love our enemies, we can, because He enables us to do so. When He assures us that He will bring good out of every seemingly evil situation, we believe Him, and sometimes He graciously allows us to actually see the beauty that our eyes weren’t able to recognize. This is where a certain quote by G.K. Chesterton comes in, “A thing must be loved before it is lovable.” I translate this to mean that a thing must be loved before it is LOVELY. Certainly there are many things in the world that are obviously lovely. If we love them… big deal. We would probably have loved them before we received new life and new love in Christ. It’s in loving the unlikely things that God’s love is manifested. When He gives us the strength to love our enemies, He may also give us the pleasure of seeing our enemies become our friends. Or perhaps they may stay as vile as ever, but He will work in US when we do His will. And that growth will be beautiful. When we love, it’s as much for our benefit as for the loved. When God fills us with Himself, our eyes are opened to see beauties that were never visible before. St. Augustine put it very wisely, “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”

So love should be considered the ultimate goal to strive towards. Even though our human flesh aches for the beautiful, there may be unparalleled beauties just around the corner in the dark. If we follow God’s guidance, letting His will subsume ours, we can break through our earthly tendencies and embrace true love. Remember that, as Corrie ten Boom believed, “Whenever we cannot love in the old human way, God can give us the perfect way.”

Let us love for Love’s sake alone.

————————–
[As a post-script, I wrote an Italian sonnet. Don't that sound impressive now? Tehe.]

Such Beautiful Love

The wrinkle in my shirtsleeve is so light.
Not so the cavern breach inside my heart.
All marred existence bleeds for mankind’s plight.
A shadow of the crimson, blighted art.
Why were we deceived by falsehood’s warning
That we were incomplete and ill-prepared?
For there at the beginning of earth’s glory,
We reigned in love; beauty our only care.
And yet we drove away creation’s smile
So innocent, infused with music’s laugh.
In favor of a crooked grin, and wiles
That made us slaves unto the whip of wrath.
That day the sky was wrinkled in a frown,
And all our paths to beauty fraught and dazed
Until, through tears, we heard a promise sound.
Throughout the wasted world, it still remains.
Hear it in the silent cavern’s recess.
Watch it rend a tree with lightning’s gasp.
Know it as it pulses through your soul’s depths.
Unable to be earned, yet here to grasp!
Love has simply melted all our weapons.
Torn the earth apart out of His mercy.
Seized upon and wasted man’s directions,
Infusing in us His own peerless beauty.
And every stubborn wrinkle will dissolve
At the touch of such a beautiful love.

Openly Amazing

Filed Under (Goings on, Pictures) by Grace Einkauf on 28-02-2010

Such was the Houston National Open tournament! It was completely hectic and exhausting… but utterly wonderful and exhilarating! I was going to present you with a beautiful numbered list of the ups and downs of the tourney. But somehow, I don’t feel as if the Open was really a ‘list’ tournament at all. And anyway, as my dear friend Beth said, it was a tournament filled with ups and smaller ups, not ups and downs. So I give you… a slide show! :) I cannot be credited for about half of the pictures, as my camera was largely ignored throughout the tournament. Thanks to Sarah Maddux, Christina Hastings, the Maisanos, and Jessi Arnold for having awesome pics for me to use. ;-)

Define: Romanticism

Filed Under (Reflections, Writing) by Grace Einkauf on 14-02-2010

Do you see yourself in these words?

“Romanticism, perhaps the most sublime of afflictions, is a congenital psychic disorder whose symptoms are evident throughout life. In childhood the romantic writes poetry and dreams of grand and noble exploits. As a youth he embraces causes and fights for them with reckless bravery– which is easy enough for him to do, since he is unable to imagine that failure or defeat is possible. He falls in love once, passionately, and for life. He is spirited, gallant, and bold and sees high drama where others see blandness. He inspires admiration and loyalty in some, envy and hatred in others; he can be charming and witty but not genuinely humorous, for though life to him is always a joyful affirmation, it is never funny. Like the sentimentalist, the dreamer, and the do-gooder, the romantic is ruled by his heart rather than his head. Unlike them, he is also tough-minded and realistic, and that creates within him a turbulence they never know: he drives himself to excel, requires discipline of himself far beyond other men, is ever concerned with honor, sometimes excessively.” -Forrest McDonald

I really wish I’d written this definition. Because it’s dead on. Romanticism certainly can be the ‘most sublime of afflictions’. But all traits of character must be watched, because when used wrongly, they can become detrimental to one’s happiness along with such inherently bad ones as cowardice or vanity. Traits that aren’t absolute virtues like patience or kindness can easily be corrupted. Or simply ignored and left to simmer in a dark corner, breeding discontent or rebellion. In fact, I maintain that to keep your character uncorrupted, you must use every facet of it for a good purpose. What use is it to be an idealist if you do not find the best ideals to pursue? What good is it to be naturally diligent if you are not constantly working hard to further your most cherished principles and plans? As for the romantic, why dream up such beautiful fancies if you don’t even know where your heart lies? A romantic, an idealist… these will latch onto any promising opportunity or idea, if not checked. I’m not saying they should be checked, but one must be certain that the idea or opportunity which seems so fascinating is actually worth pursuing and fighting for. For example, Alexander Hamilton was, among other things, a romantic and an idealist. And he was one who chose his ideals carefully. Extensive study, varied experiences and acquaintances- these helped him weed out the unworthy causes and settle on the ones which had the most potential. Once he discovered those causes, he bent himself to work with a will, because he knew how noble his chosen calling was. Throughout his life, he gave himself to America- to her government and to her people (even though he was dissatisfied with them), and worked along with other valiant men to make his country the grandest in the world. He saddled his romanticism and made it work for him, instead of following blindly any path which presented itself in a pleasant light. And these idealistic and romantic tendencies of his didn’t hinder him- they assisted him in a great work. A fight that was worth winning.
Are you a ‘hopeless romantic’? I guess I would fit under that category as well. And you and I have no business hiding behind our dreams or sighing for impossibilities. Get out of yourself and make the world beautiful. I’m not saying ‘follow your dreams’. Because some of our dreams are not worth following, and might just lead us to a dreary dead end. But some of them are truly noble. How do you know which to pursue? Think of the Master of the mind, the Healer of the heart, the Savior of the soul. I think He might be able to tell you. =)

Inside

Filed Under (Writing) by Grace Einkauf on 10-02-2010

You walked into that bleak, white room,
And I was there inside your womb.
Blissfully secure… relaxed and unaware.

Voices, I heard hard footsteps,
Then, at the sound of your voice, I lept
Inside my growing heart. I was a work of art.

I clung to your melodious life,
As mine was being wrought inside.
And you were all my world… I needed nothing more.

I felt you recline, as if to sleep,
So comfortable, my dreams would be deep.
But I began to feel so weak… as never before.

Pain.. I didn’t know its ways
Until it grasped me in a daze.
And wrenched my world apart… away from your beating heart.

I don’t think you realized
Your choice meant death for another life,
But though I needed you… you chose your right to choose.

I needed you so desperately.
But you didn’t want to care for me.

Copyright © GraceE

DFW Qualifier

Filed Under (Goings on) by Grace Einkauf on 06-02-2010

You would not believe me if I told you how much fun I had at this tourney, or how much I learned. But a picture is worth a thousand words! And there are a lot of pictures in this slideshow. ;-)

Something new

Filed Under (Announcements) by Grace Einkauf on 01-02-2010

I’ve temporarily moved my blog over to JibeNow. I do not know how long ‘temporarily’ is. ;-) But I’ll enjoy being a part of the JN clan for now. My old blog at HSB will not be deleted, but new posts can be found here. Whoever you are, my small readership, I hope you will continue to benefit from the content!

Your devoted every-other-month-unless-she-cannot-possibly-avoid-it blogger =D,

~Grace

Communicate

Filed Under (Reflections) by Grace Einkauf on 21-01-2010


[click for larger image]

We all communicate, whether we aim to or not. This is what it means to me. I am not my own… I belong to a God who is Love. Everything He does through me… that’s what is worth communicating. And oh, I want so much to be used! Because when He channels His Love through me, I shiver with joy in the warmth of His glory. And when that glory spills through me and over me and around me, into others… I want nothing more. As Emily Dickinson says, “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not have lived in vain.” But when all’s said and done… it’s God who mends every breaking heart, who speaks each life-changing word, who writes every inspiring paragraph. I want to be the channel, Lord. Communicate You through me.

This is what communicating means to me. This is what life means to me. What does it mean to you?

Copyright © GraceElizabeth

Step Through the Glass

Filed Under (Writing) by Grace Einkauf on 15-01-2010

Shallow pane of glassy pain….
Today I slipped past it and I saw someone
Narrated in the varnished mirror.
My face.
And I narrowed my eyes in confusion, because that’s not who I am.
How can a stoic reflection tell a tale?

I am the oil puddle in the parking lot, swirling in angst,
Trying, striving to conjure a rainbow out of blackness, and when I fail at last,
The sun trumpets through the clouds and blasts his beams into every part of me.
And his smiling condescension colors my soul.

I don’t see that story in the mirror’s flimsy depths.
But the rights are sold- it shows me what it fancies.
And I am left with the duty to step past deception.
Because the idea just tags along
That if I’m not who I see…

Neither are you.

Copyright © GraceElizabeth

It couldn't be any more beautiful….

Filed Under (Pictures) by Grace Einkauf on 10-01-2010

Christina came over for the day, and after being productive for a while (working on speech, decoupaging her apologetics box), we raided my closet (yes, those are all my clothes, except for Christina’s scarf. =D), and headed down to the creek to freeze our fingers off. Fun stuff.

“Oh, empty my heart. I’ve got to make room for this feeling. It’s so much bigger than me…. It couldn’t be any more beautiful! I can’t take it in.”

Copyright (c) GraceElizabeth